Fat Loser!!!

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Funkay
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Post by Funkay » Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:10 pm

HA! Naw, it really was an accident! They're too good of a couple. And like I said, he is really is the most attractive man that I am NOT attracted to. This is one of those times that proves that's possible for a guy and a gal to be good friends and ONLY good friends. 'When Harry Met Sally' be damned! It's possible!

RedHandedJill
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Post by RedHandedJill » Sun Oct 28, 2007 1:10 am

She, no lie, got married last weekend. So, Red, anything is possible. The man of your dreams could walk into your life tomorrow!
if he is "the man of my dreams" then I expect to see Jason Isaacs walk into church tomorrow...

and if he doesnt then I will take Orlando Bloom because he's not married!

lol

Red

Funkay
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Post by Funkay » Sun Oct 28, 2007 2:14 am

That's the spirit!!! :mrgreen:

RedHandedJill
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Post by RedHandedJill » Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:44 pm

ok so just for an update

there is this guy who works for the same company as me. only he live 5 hours away. I call him on nights I work to let him know that he can do his procedures

anyway we got talking and I mentioned "your wife must not like you getting calls every night" he mentioned that he isn't married and then we have been on a flirt fest ever since!

he asked me for my number today and he is really nice!!!

Red *is giddy*

Gillian
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Post by Gillian » Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:11 am

There you go! :D

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Marie
I dig animals--sometimes hundreds of feet down
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Post by Marie » Sat Nov 03, 2007 10:06 am

See bitching does work..... :D

RedHandedJill
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Post by RedHandedJill » Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:53 pm

ok stepping back up on the bitch box!!!!
anyway we got talking and I mentioned "your wife must not like you getting calls every night" he mentioned that he isn't married and then we have been on a flirt fest ever since!

he asked me for my number today and he is really nice!!!
so this guy that I mentioned... after I gave him my number I got a text from him that says "so I think you should call me sometime besides for work." I texted him back because I knew that he has a crazy schedule because of his job so I asked him when was a good time... then he sends me this

"so I think you should send me a pic so I know the face of the girl I always flirt with on the phone"

now if you know me I am a very private person... I think only Hil knows my real name! and I have only posted my pic on the internet 3 times!.... so this made me a bit nervous... I texted him back telling him that he might be disappointed and he said "have you ever seen a pic of me? then you might think the same thing about me"

I asked him a few more questions about himself and we got to know each other a little bit more.

so finally I texted him my pic....... (here is the reason I am on my bitch box)

the pic that I sent him is this one (I'm the one with pink hair)
Image

its not a bad pic right? I mean its the cutest one on my phone... anyway at about this point before I sent the pic we were texting back and forth pretty fast (belive me when I say I don't like texting I was just at work so that was the only way to talk to him.)

after I sent the pic it went dead.... no texts....so I text him and say "did you get my pic" and he said "yeah I haven't looked at it yet" :scratch

I left it alone for the day and waited until the next day to text him....
so to be funny (the way we have been to each other) I say " so was I that disappointing or are you just playing to hard to get?"
he says: "I went hot tubbing and then fell asleep sorry"
I told him that it was fine.... that I would talk to him later

so today I got called into work and so I had to call him....

his attitude on the phone was SO different.... it was weird.. I told him that he owes me a pic and he said "oh yeah I am really forgetful"


:bang ihatemondays :bang ihatemondays :bang ihatemondays :bang ihatemondays

I get SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! I mean here is a guy that I have an attraction to, and he obviously had an attraction to me otherwise why would he ask me for my number? and the second the SECOND he sees what I look like and ..... nuke.gif

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR


*sighs* ok I'm done now sorry for the rambling I just NEEDED to get that off my chest!!!!!!!!!!!

Red

LisaG
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Shallow Hal

Post by LisaG » Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:20 pm

I've been lurking in the background since your first post and really empathize with how you're feeling.

First, I wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about that guy being a dink to you. Sounds like a real-life version of "Shallow Hal". It can be a really viscious circle...you can't meet someone without putting yourself "out there"...but doing that requires accepting a level of vulnerability that is uncomfortable to most people and even harder for people who have experienced more than their fair share of rejection. It takes courage to keep doing that...and exposing yourself to the possibility of more pain. But, I also think there are a lot of folks out there that are feeling the same way and feel alone (and lonely). It seems like it shouldn't be so hard to connect with someone. It's a basic human need to feel loved and accepted.

I wish I knew what to say to help you feel better. I don't think everyone "out there" is a Shallow Hal, but there are plenty of them around (sadly) - at times I think I'm married to one :roll: Just don't give up, kiddo. There is beauty in everyone and you're no exception.

I used to have a very cruel, critical inner dialogue - and when my self-esteem was its lowest, I believed every word of the "meanie" in my head. It took many years, but I learned to change my negative self-talk to be more kind and accepting of myself. I don't know if this is something that you struggle with or not (based on your original post subject "Fat Loser!!", I surmised it could possibly be an issue for you). If it is, then that might need some attention and self-care. A person who is comfortable in their own skin typically exudes that and that acceptance, and the confidence that goes with it, comes through to other people and affects their perception of the attractiveness of that person. Yeah...easier said than done. But, it was a very worthwhile journey for me (and I'm not done yet).

Okay, I'll shut up already!! But, I just felt compelled to reply. Just please know that others care.

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Hilary the Touched
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Post by Hilary the Touched » Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:31 pm

Lisa, what a kind and loving post.

Let me add my "What a putz!!" It really does sound like he was feeling an attraction, and then his reaction was really hurtful.
It's awfully hard to guess what was going on in his tiny mind--maybe he thought you were older. Maybe the pink hair threw him.
Me, I think somebody who's willing to get a little bit wacky is all the more appealing. But the most important, the most appealing thing, is being comfortable with yourself. Like Lisa says, you're far more lovable when YOU love you. That was really what drew me to my husband--he wasn't manic or anything, he just seemed like he was so content to be *him*.
Enjoy your real friends, Red--plenty of time for anything else to develop.

RedHandedJill
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Post by RedHandedJill » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:40 am

Thanks you guys! I do have issuses with selfesteem. and I am the first one to admit it! I don't have a usual self esteem problem though... I basically have excepted that I am not what guys veiw as pretty. but on the other hand, I have a GREAT personality. I always make people laugh and I love to make people laugh. I think that is why I am always "the friend" with guys cause I have fun but I'm not "pretty"

I think I have features that are good but the first thing a guy sees is my body and therefore a judgement is made *shrug* which sucks but I've learned to think... "well thats their problem."

I think what made the sting a little deeper is that there was an initial attraction and I know that I was rejected for what I look like. Ususally I try and blame it on other things as well (like a strong personality or something)

*sigh* oh well his loss! it just sucks that I have to call him for apart of my job. (which thankfully that part is being taken over next week by someone else)

Red

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Marie
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Post by Marie » Wed Nov 07, 2007 8:25 am

The minute a guy asks for a photo it's not a great sign. If they are more concerned with looks than personality and intellegence then it is their loss. He is not worth a second thought. Face it some guys are just jerks.

Hey I didn't get married until I was 30 - just had to wait some time for the right guy to come along. I had sort of given up finding a nice guy - then I met one!!

The key is to just make yourself as healthy and happy as you can. Volunteering is a great way to meet guys that have a heart! It also helps your heart as well!!! Animal shelters, food banks, special olympics - I met some great guys and girlfriends while volunteering. Just seems like the guys who help out are interested more in other things than just themselves. ;-)

They are out there .... they don't have cute sayings like "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince" for nothing!

Gillian
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Post by Gillian » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:05 pm

I think that is why I am always "the friend" with guys cause I have fun but I'm not "pretty"
Bullocks! I think you're pretty!

Honestly, what is it with some guys? It's like they all think there's a super model waiting around the corner just for them. Life's not like that. And frankly, men that superficial are not worth anybody's time.

Don't lose hope, Red. Your Prince Charming IS out there.

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:30 pm

Hi Everyone.
I just joined the forum today but I really thought I would like to add my thoughts to this discussion. I think people stress out about weight issues too much, I really do think that old cliche personality counts more is so true.

I have a very good friend and she would describe herself as "A Big Girl" But she is lovely, she has the most infectious laugh, I first got talking to her at my gym so even though she is a Big Girl she is still fit and in proportion. She talks to EVERYONE! Male and Female and everyone likes her because she is a nice person with a lovely personality, she is married and her Husband is gorgeous.

Please don't let how much you weigh be an issue, only very shallow people care about asthetics and would you really want to be friends or have a relationship with someone like that? No! I wouldn't either.

Gillian
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Post by Gillian » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:53 pm

Well put, Heather. I couldn't agree more.

grannybear
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Post by grannybear » Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:04 pm

At my age men are more interested in having a woman to clean their house, cook meals and do their laundry. (looks are secondary). Since I don't like to do these things for myself, I'm certainly not doing them for someone else.

Oh yes, I'm also overweight and my doctor is nagging me to lose it for health reasons so wish me luck. Lost part of a lung to cancer a few years back. If you want to lose it, do it now. It's harder as you get older.

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